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"This is trying to get really pro feminism, but she’s got a dinosaur inside of her."

- Daniel Hardcastle
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"My chest killed you."

- Daniel Hardcastle
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"Ow! Don’t blow me and the dog!"

- Daniel Hardcastle
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"Don’t blow the guy. Don’t blow the, don’t blow the guy! THE ONE THING I SAID!!!"

- Daniel Hardcastle
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"I know you’re slightly out of touch over there, being three feet from the surface of the sun and attacked by giant spiders every day, but six billion people are dead."

- Daniel Hardcastle
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"Yes, I am Romans, with blades on my chariot. I was trying to think of whatsherface with the Romans and the history and the lady."

- Daniel Hardcastle
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"All the police are trying to arrest all the other police so they can be the only people arresting people. True story."

- Daniel Hardcastle
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"His friend is now jam-for-face."

- Daniel Hardcastle
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"You’ve killed a man, now I get to kill you. That’s how things work in America, right?"

- Daniel Hardcastle
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"Stop firing fucking milk at me! I’m a police officer!"

- Daniel Hardcastle