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"I get confused by trees."

- Daniel Hardcastle
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"We’ll have to go and investigate the crashed pyramid sometime."

- Daniel Hardcastle
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"I’ll be an aristocrat, for the first and only time in my life."

- Daniel Hardcastle
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"Alright, pick up the pen. This is what’s known as a … medical malpractice."

- Daniel Hardcastle
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"You should see the aeroplanes that badgers leap from."

- Daniel Hardcastle
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"If dubstep comes on the radio, then you’ll die."

- Daniel Hardcastle
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"Essentially, badgers are Rico Rodriguez."

- Daniel Hardcastle
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"Sometimes you have to throw out a few babies if you’re trying to drain the ocean of bathwater."

- Daniel Hardcastle
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"It’s being attacked by an aubergine on wheels."

- Daniel Hardcastle
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"We all just get massively high and watch Antiques Roadshow. Doesn’t everyone do that?"

- Daniel Hardcastle