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"I can barely agriculture."

- Daniel Hardcastle
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"Peggle is answering my questions; it’s like Jesus, but real. Oops."

- Daniel Hardcastle
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"Should we keep it… or… fire?"

- Daniel Hardcastle
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"Evil triumphs over good if good is a fucking idiot about it."

- Daniel Hardcastle
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"Jesus was very much pro-exploration, as long as it’s not of yourself. YOU’RE STRAIGHT, FUCK YOU."

- Daniel Hardcastle
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"There’s no story in the bible where it’s like: Chapter 4, verse 12, ‘And then he nutted him in thy noggin.’"

- Daniel Hardcastle
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"There are some downsides to playing as Jesus."

- Daniel Hardcastle
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"I wonder if Jesus got a splinter, could he just heal himself up? I mean he’d pull out the piece of wood first. Unless it was in your eye and then it was a log or something."

- Daniel Hardcastle
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"We don’t want Jesus to die. Not yet."

- Daniel Hardcastle
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"What was Jesus’ stance on self defence? If someone slaps your arse cheek, let them slap the other? I dunno, I had a weird bible."

- Daniel Hardcastle